I woke up one morning, expecting life to be the way it was as it usually was. I was wrong. What I was familiar with and what I am seeing contrasts so much I wonder if I was living the correct life at all. It was like a gust of cold wind in the December morning that wakes you up to reality's cold, harsh embrace.

I feel unnatural these days, like something somewhere in my life has gone out of sync with the rest. Such a feeling is uncomfortable and not the least welcomed at all. It feels like a hammering sensation; someone pounding my chest with hard and dull strikes.

It aches really. Everywhere I go and everything I do, the feeling is there; persistent and insistent that I give it some attention. I try hard to resist it and not think about it, but honestly who am I kidding? I know what's the underlying cause of it although my mind tries not to believe so. It's a case of heart versus mind. Such an amazing organ the heart is, whose primary function is only to beat yet feel the ache, as if it was hurting itself with every beat it makes.

Give me my life back.






Mandy, I'm extremely sorry that I made you worry and feel stressed about me, although I'm supposed to be the one whom this should least happen to. I really am sorry and feel bad about it. I can't stop feeling helpless and weak. Sorry.