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Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Rose

I had a nice time talking to you on the phone yesterday and this is what i wanted to dedicate to you when i saw this at work today. I didn't have the chance to type this there and then because the office computer sucks and can't bring me to blogspot.

But anyway, here it goes:

The Rose
written by Amanda McBroom, sung by Better Midler

Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love it is a hunger, an endless aching seed
I say love, it is a flower and you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong.
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose.

This is a song I happen to come across at work today and somehow it just struck me. I did not have the time to go check out what kind of song it is, so I may not interpret its true meaning. But that's not important. The important thing is how I interpret it.

Why I want to dedicate it to you is because it summarizes what I used to feel and what I feel now. Before I met you I just thought relationships are your every-day come then come, go then go kind of thing. Basically just float from one partner to another, without batting the eye. Probably because me, like most people, are afraid of getting hurt by the other person and hence develop a pessimistic and negative view about relationships and girls. As can be seen by the sentences "Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reed...an endless aching seed"

NOW, after I met you on that fateful day, things changed. I slowly but surely turned away from that kind of mindset and embraced a whole new one. I was changing, and I love it. And of course I love you, and only you. What I want to say is you showed me how I can also actually learn to care and love a single person so much, other than family lah.

The heart that is afraid to break and the dream that is afraid to wake reflects the nature of my childish and insecurities that I often feel but may not always say aloud. That means I just feel afraid of losing you. Sounds cliche but how many of us feel this way? Many I guess.

Like the sun, I hope I can be the one to brighten and liven up your day and life for as long as possible. I want to be your best friend, one that you can always turn to...until the day we go to the Promised Land that He has planned for us. And even so, I will still continue to be your best friend for eternity because only eternity exists from then on.

Once again, sounding cliche, but I can never say enough of this. I love you.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

my latest entry since I don't know when...

I had my check-up on my knee on Monday but the specialist said that it was nothing much, just that I have tight ligaments. I have so many things going wrong with my body and I only realise it recently, guess it can't be helped since I'm born with it...

Fast forward to today, I had some "intestinal contraction" due to "some bacteria from contaminated food". Haha, at least that is what the doctor told me. I think it must be the huge oyster I ate on Monday...

So, I didn't go for work today and I messaged my boss in the morning to tell him. Guess what? I was told to call him and he scolded me for not informing that I was taking medical leave. I mean what the shit? I told him that I won't be in the office today because I have a diarrhoea, so naturally, a person of normal IQ would be able to interpret and process it as I am going to take medical leave right? I can't believe that after seeing the doctor, I still have to call him "Boss, I saw the doctor le and he gave me medical leave for today"

That's utter nonsense because what, I'm supposed to inform him I saw doctor and took an MC? I can't believe there are people like that around, goes to show how capable he is...

well, anyways I saw one of my BMT platoon friend's MSN nick which he put artillery life = sad life. My strong opinion is that army life = sad life. You won't want to know how bad it is inside. Even the office environment sucks. I think unit life is so much better....*sigh

So much for now, recalling about my boss's stupid action made me lose track of what I wanted to blog about.