A rock seems to have been lifted over my shoulders and I feel pretty light and happier now. ORD's coming in one month and two and a half weeks' time. I got to buck up and start thinking what to do about this life which has stagnated and has kind of rot for the past one odd years.

First off, of course, is to get a job after my service ends. Anyone has good job offers? Please do let me know and yes this is an outright advertisement myself. hehehe. Money ain't the most important thing in the world but it sure ranks up there as one of the most important and useful tools to keep handy. It makes the world go round, square, whatever shape you want it to be and whatever way you want it to spin.

Second is to live happier when my life's rusty gears kickstart soon. New goals, new resolutions will be thought up as I move along. There are many more new people out there waiting to befriend, new things to try, new things to learn.

That said, I definitely still want to hang out with all my close buddies and friends and we will still have more fun together. Please don't forget me when you guys get your girlfriends and boyfriends alright! Don't make me sad! Call me out to chillax, to have fun and anything.

Looking at the way things are now, I mean life can only get better and happier...right?

*fingers crossed.

I woke up one morning, expecting life to be the way it was as it usually was. I was wrong. What I was familiar with and what I am seeing contrasts so much I wonder if I was living the correct life at all. It was like a gust of cold wind in the December morning that wakes you up to reality's cold, harsh embrace.

I feel unnatural these days, like something somewhere in my life has gone out of sync with the rest. Such a feeling is uncomfortable and not the least welcomed at all. It feels like a hammering sensation; someone pounding my chest with hard and dull strikes.

It aches really. Everywhere I go and everything I do, the feeling is there; persistent and insistent that I give it some attention. I try hard to resist it and not think about it, but honestly who am I kidding? I know what's the underlying cause of it although my mind tries not to believe so. It's a case of heart versus mind. Such an amazing organ the heart is, whose primary function is only to beat yet feel the ache, as if it was hurting itself with every beat it makes.

Give me my life back.






Mandy, I'm extremely sorry that I made you worry and feel stressed about me, although I'm supposed to be the one whom this should least happen to. I really am sorry and feel bad about it. I can't stop feeling helpless and weak. Sorry.

I am chatting with Clare, and I really was made to realise that..I post really stupid stuff. gosh. I feel that while other people blog about the activities they do or about what the different happening things that come across them, I don't.

I don't find the joy in doing that, it is so...mundane. If people who read my stuff carefully, you realise that many are random musings, thoughts and whatever my mind conceives at the point of typing. Like right now.

It is, I must say, not the most well articulated posts and neither are they really interesting. But at the very least, they are genuine and closest to what are my most raw thoughts.

To put it positively, this is my individuality.






On the other hand, to put it negatively, it might mean I'm pretty schizophrenic.

damn.

prata - $2
cab home - $25
for everything else, there's mastercard.

damn it.

i just went out to play C&C 3 with a good friend of mine. it's a totally wicked game, i will want to play it more next time. anyone interested? let's organise some kind of dota-C&C3-CounterStrike-whatever goes lan session.

after that, the girlfriend of said friend came over to meet us for dinner and we walked around a little.

i was feeling like an extra character around.

damn, a little emo now.

why does everyone seem so busy nowadays?

or is it me who seem to be so free.

and also everyone, or most of my good friends are attached. how the fuck do i ask people out this way?

singlehood is good, but there's the envy at times.

i need to ORD..5 more months to go! ugh.

this is booshit.

It seems that after returning to brogging for a while, I'm returned to being utterly bored with a total lack of content to discuss, share or even contend. Call me himbotic, but I do not desire do discuss any issues political or economical in essence unlike the multitudes. Then again, this is simply due to the reason that I'm a ignorant twenty year old who lacks the depth of understanding for anything political or economical in nature.

Neither do I want to share much about my life. It's boring enough, no need to bore you guys too right? (Actually what I am typing now has already done that to some effect) Somehow or rather along this path of life, it appears God has planned it to be a relatively quiet one, with only probably the occasional tribulation that marks the different milestones in life that I'm allowed the privilege of calling them achievements.

Believe me, when I say there can't be anybody's life who is more boring, or as boring, as mine. It appears to be the apex of boredom, not something that I should be particularly proud of. I, for one, honestly prefer an exciting, even if shorter, life that sees me making much accomplishments. An adventurous, fast paced, ever-changing lifestyle is what gets the blood flowing in my veins. Not some office job spent sitting in front of the computer (as I'm demonstrating now), growing fat and typing on keyboards.

Ah well, what the fuck.

Random random-ness

I had an experience today walking barefooted, like Jesus. It was, to say the least, not the most desirable feeling.

A thought occured to me; a particularly rare act made by one may be perceived as weird and alien. However, if this act is made by everyone, it becomes socially accepted.

If the heroes in chinese wuxia shows can fly around, why do they still need horses?

Maybe everyone should be like the Saiyan race in Dragonball so that we can get free hair colour change. Just power up and our hair turns yellow.

Does eating chicken, when having a sore throat, makes your sore throat worse?

I love drinking Ribena.

I found this quote in the office:

A chicken and a pig were having a discussion.

The chicken said,

"I am committed to giving one egg every day."

"That's not commitment," the pig said.

"That's just participation. Giving bacon, now THAT's commitment!"

Nothing happens without commitment.

Commitment is as simple as giving and keeping your word. Doing your best.

Commitment is doing what you say you would do -

whether or not you feel like it today.

If you fail in a commitment, take another look at it and ask yourself,

"Did I quit too soon?"

Seeing how none of my links have yet to blog about the gathering on saturday, I shall do them a service and start the ball rolling.

Sat's gathering was pretty cool, meeting everyone again after so long (for me, that is). So when I reached there at 6.30pm, amanda, dawn, filonia, siying, apply and of course gcx was there. I had planned to reach at 6 but I fell overslept again on the bus. The scenario when I reached (as was the case for everyone else who came after me):

Dawn, Amanda, Filonia: Yeeeeewwwww-gene!!!!!!!!1111!!one11
Me: Uh yeah, hi guys. (proceeds to sit down)
Dawn, Amanda, Filonia: Yeeeeewwwww-gene you look so big now!!!!!111!!1 heheheheheheh!!!
Me: Uh no lah..fat lah.
Dawn, Amanda, Filonia: No lah, very big!!!!!111!!!1oneoneeleven

Something like that. I suppose it's a girls thing. Or maybe it's a Dawn + Amanda + Filonia thing.

In all honesty, at first I found it boring, because it was rather..predictable. After many gatherings, it seems that this gathering won't be an exception as well. The lazy me simply sat there and observed the minutiae of my friends; siying with her long-ish hair, apple who still looks apple-ish, filonia with some highlights in her hair, dawn who looked small now, gcx who's still the same with thick lips and amanda, who..well looks the same.

And later on, gaby, yihao, weijie, wende, naz and huitze (fish/cow), ade, tk subsequently joined us and the gathering got warmer. I meant literally warmer.

In spite of it all, the whole event was great and it allowed me to catch up with all of them, something that was long due for me. Somehow, though we've all grown up and lead pretty individual lifes, the feelings and friendship we have seemed to have been stuck in time, unchanged all these while.

Guys (and girls, lest I be labelled sexist), thanks for the dinner and the wonderful memories, not only on saturday but also the times in school. Do organise another outing or gathering and you can be sure I'll turn up.

PS: any of the guys, if you're going to dota, call me!!!

It is easy to find the man on the street who does not think much of doing National Service. Many guys are opinionated about the fact that National Service is a waste of two years of their life. I am like not like one of these people though.

Army is in fact a boring fun place to be in! You will not only get to learn new shit skills but also martial arts to boot! In the course of my one year and soon-to-be four months in the Army, I've learnt how to tai-chi. Tai-chi is an unbelieveably useful and healthy martial art that I strongly recommend everyone to pick up. After learning tai-chi, you will know how to tai-chi work unhealthy stuff away from yourself and also tai-chi the off days good things to you.
Learn tai-chi. It is the way of life, in and out of the Army.

Army also will aid in boosting your observation skills to a whole new level, especially if you are working in the ministry like me. Why I say so is because during the course of your national service, you will learn observe the different habits of the different people and officers that you work with so that they will not bitch about you get along well with you. Of course, the main perk of improved observational skills shows when you compare opinions with your fellow male colleagues about the new hot office lady that was posted in recently.

Lastly, in the Army, you also will widen up your social circle as you meet people and hot office ladies from all walks of life. Some will have an impact in the way you view and live your life. Some will turn out to be your lifelong buddies. Some will end up as one of the numerous dates you have while serving in the Army. And some will simply do nothing significant but just eyecandy that simply makes your day easier to pass brighter.

So you see? Army isn't that bad at all. =)

Alright so it isn't really a 6 month hiatus as I had make it out to be. I actually had the time to blog but you know, when the procrastination bug bites, it sure leaves a big ass wound that leaves you reeling for quite a while.

The past few weeks have been pretty uneventful, training, training and training. Oh, did I mention training? Yeah, more training. Simply put, it's boring and an extreme routine which I have surprisingly been able to maintain for the past half year. I guess it can be accounted to the fact that when you actually see your body getting more muscular, you have the motivation to push on more and more.

So, it's been what, 5 or 6 weeks post break up. I think my life now is pretty good. Oh did I say it's pretty good? Scratch that, I think my life now is awesome. New things to try, new places to go, new experiences to have, new girls to meet...simply fantastic.

Like, I went to Ministry of Sound a couple of times the past 5 weeks and I think it's really fun. As my friend Weijie puts it, R&B music in the club stands for Rub & Bua (Rub and Brush against girls for the dialect idiots). Surprisingly fun, and it's a waste I haven't been able to try it earlier, but better to be late than never. But before you bloody anti-clubbing critics pick up your anti-clubbing signs, I'm not advocating that everyone should club as often as they can and R&B as much as you can. Like they always say, take everything sparingly. Too much ain't good for you. (Don't I just sound like an old geezer? Neat)

I can't remember what else I did (not only was I bitten by procrastination, but also by forgetfulness, dammit). But on a last note, I'll be trying to apply for the SMU law course next year and hopefully, just hopefully I can make it in!

New direction, new start, new me. Awesome, no shit.

i think i'm going to take a 6 month hiatus to conduct some secret training. Sorry to all!

6 months later, I'll post the results of my secret training.

Rawr!

The Break up

I FINALLY ended my relationship with Pei Wen. (Ok so maybe she said she wanted a break up).

I'm single again!

Should I feel sad, angry, hurt, devastated, pissed off, upset, glad, happy, down or what?

F**K LAH I DON'T KNOW.

In Pieces

Telling me to go,
But hands beg me to stay.
Your lips say that you love,
Your eyes say that you hate.

There's truth in your lies,
Doubt in your faith.
What you build you lay to waste.

There's truth in your lies,
Doubt in your faith.
All I've got's what you didn't take.

So I, I won't be the one,
Be the one to leave this,
In pieces.
And you, you will be alone,
Alone with all your secrets,
And regrets.
Don't lie.

You promise me the sky,
Then toss me like a stone.
You wrap me in your arms,
And chill me to the bone.

There's truth in your lies,
Doubt in your faith.
All I've got's what you didn't take.

So I, I won't be the one,
Be the one to leave this,
In pieces.
And you, you will be alone,
Alone with all your secrets,
And regrets.
Don't lie.

[Guitar solo]

So I, I won't be the one,
Be the one to leave this,
In pieces.
And you, you will be alone,
Alone with all your secrets,
And regrets.
Don't lie.

I had a lovely dinner with Pei Wen at Jack's Place today; her treat for my birthday yesterday. Thank you very much sweetie! It was great.

Also thanks to everyone who did (and did not) wish me well.

This is it. Happy 20th birthday to myself.

How unmemorable.

Today, the pastor talked about death, dying and the eternity. He mentioned that many people have never thought about this question, which is the most important question: where do you go after you die?

I, for one, do truly believe and pray that my path will be upwards after i cease my dealings in life.

Just before I go, when my time is up, I pray that I can do the best that I can and say that I've done all that I could ever do with this life.

I hope that I will be holding on to my bible as I lay dying and the people around me (if there are any) will cry only tears of joy at the fact that I'm heading towards a better place.

My birthday is coming soon! This is a super big hint to all my friends: I WANT PRESENTS!

hehehehehehehehe.

This is probably the event of the year 2007.

happy soon-to-be birthday to myself.

I was rather pissed waiting for the bus today on my way home. I mean, waiting 25 minutes for the bus is somewhat overboard. Mind you, it's 25 minutes, not 2 point 5 minutes. That's 1500 seconds of my life that trickled away at the bus stop. Of course, I could have just been a garang soldier and run all the way home but I'm too cool for that. Actually I just didn't want to perspired and I'm too lazy to do so anyway.

I guess this is the kind of standard that we get for price hikes in bus fares. Wait a minute, who am I shitting? What standard is there? As far as I'm concerned, and every other self-thinking individual of the public, the bus standard is sorely lacking. This is not the first time that buses are late or you find many of the same bus number stopping at the same bus stop as if it was some "Same Bus Number Party" (oh whee! a party!). Buses are "supposed" to reach each bus stop within 15 minutes of travel. I think there's too much supposing on both parties' side, in that, we the members of the public will think that buses are "supposed" to reach the bus stop within 15 minutes of travel while the bus drivers think they are "supposed" to take their own time.

I'm not discounting the fact that traffic jams or slow traffic will affect the time at which buses reach the bus stop. But surely, it doesn't have to take 25 minutes for the bus to reach the bus stop if some form of effort (clearly not there) was made to do so.

Anyway, on the bus there was a guy talking to his friend on the phone. Apparently he was unhappy at the bus service and was complaining about it to his friend. I wanted to tell him that I agreed with him but I was afraid he would beat me up for being nosy and eavesdropping on his conversation. I vErY tHe sCArEd dE wOrXxX hIak HiAk.

Come on, I must be shitting myself. I'll probably pound that guy into dust instead.

Also, there was this guy who I really think have shit for brains. He was standing on the aisle of the bus, with his bag and 2 big plastic bags lined in a row in front of him. To make things worse, he was gripping the overhead metal bars on both sides of the bus, ensuring that everyone around him was treated to a delightful sensation of his pungent odour. He was blocking almost everyone in front and behind him but apparently the other passengers were tolerant enough of him. I couldn't give a shit since I was sitting on the seat beside where he stood and wasn't affected.

Honestly, he could have grown some brains at the point when the bus started to clear and there were less passengers around. So now, we have not only poor bus standards but also idiot passengers. What a great combination.

Price hikes due to rising petrol costs - 3 cents
Block bus aisle with bags laid on the floor - 3 standing spaces gone
Growing a brain and develop some common sense - priceless

For everything else, there's always Mastercard.